The last thing you need to worry about in the hell-scape that is a zombie apocalypse is your period. With reusable menstrual products, like cups & pads, you might just survive. Here’s why:
1. They’re reusable.
Starting with the obvious here. With zombies all around, no one has time to be manufacturing anything… assuming they even can still. And there is certainly no need to risk being eaten by zombies while searching for a store with a feminine care aisle to loot. It’s just not worth it!
With reusable products you can be worry free, or as worry free as one can be during a zombie apocalypse. Menstrual cups, like the Diva Cup, are made from medical grade silicone and can be washed and reused for YEARS (though most companies recommend replacing them yearly.) Same deal with cloth menstrual pads. Made from quality materials (like cotton, hemp, bamboo, velour, & more), they can last for years… especially with all of that gentle hand-washing you’ll be doing during the blackouts.
2. No odor!
Trying to hide from a hungry zombie? Don’t let a leaky pad or wet tampon string sell you out! Use a menstrual cup and keep your zombie temptations under wraps. With no air getting to the blood, you are odor free and no longer zombie bait… as long as you can keep quiet
3. They’re long lasting.
You can wear a cup, like the Lunette, up to 12 hours (though if you are being chased by a zombie — please wait!). This means that if you’re in hiding or on the move, there is no need to worry about anything getting out. You’re covered!
Similarly, cloth pads last an hour or two longer than disposable options (plus they don’t chafe and stay in place much better!) However, if you are on the run and don’t know when your next stop will be, it might be a cup day for you.
4. Less environmental impact.
“But Amanda, it’s a zombie apocalypse! What do I care about the environment?”
Okay, perhaps the environment isn’t your first, or even second, priority during a zombie apocalypse but leaving a trail of blood soaked pads or tampons is not going to help you hide from zombies very well, now is it? Did you know that 20 billion pads, tampons, and applicators are sent to North American landfills annually? That’s one big, delicious bread crumb trail for a zombie. No. Just no.
5. Natural Lube
While you might think sex is the furthest thing from your mind during a zombie apocalypse, I have to disagree. Dead is one wrong step away at any moment! I don’t know about you, but I think I’d want to make the most of every moment I had with my husband… unless he pissed me off, then he can go sleep on a rock somewhere. Since lube is likely out of the question, you’ll be happy to know that, unlike tampons and disposable pads, cups and cloth pads do not cause vaginal dryness.
Disposable products absorb everything… even the good stuff! They often contain synthetic fibers, pesticide treated cotton, and dioxins (from the wood pulp bleaching process). Many even contain artificial fragrances! Tampons fibers can leave tiny micro-abrasions that can lead to more serious problems, like excessive dryness or even Toxic Shock — good luck finding antibiotics for that one during a zombie apocalypse.
6. Better for your health.
As mentioned in the reason above, disposable products often contain toxic ingredients that can potentially contribute to bigger health problems like dryness, infertility, cancer (dioxins are known carcinogens), toxic shock, and more. You have enough to deal with when zombies are trying to eat you, you don’t need to worry about your menstrual products trying to kill you too.
Because reusable products are made from silicone (in the case of cups) and fabrics (in the case of cloth pads), you are limiting your exposure to toxic materials. While the exposure may be small, it is important to remember that the skin on the vulva and in the vagina is especially sensitive and is up to 50 times more absorbent than the skin on the palms.
7. You’re leak free.
This revisits #3 a bit, but imagine being truly leak free. With a cup there are no strings to send fluids traveling. Yuck! I don’t know about you, but if I’m hiding from a zombie I want to know that I’m all sealed up. The last thing I need to worry about it leaking and leaving a bloody trail for a zombie feast. This also means that should you find a safe place to sleep, you can do so for up to 12 hours ladies. 12 hours!!!
8. They take up less space.
You’ll have to take great risks just to find tampons or pads during a zombie apocalypse. If you’re lucky, you’ll find some. That means that you’ll likely stock up on all that you can reasonably carry… and no one has room to carry around a load of tampons or pads!
An entire years supply of cups…. cup? can be held in the palm of your hand, or a pocket, or inside your hat, between your boobs. Seriously, anywhere. A years supply of pads could be as few as 6-10 pads. Wear, wash, dry, & repeat. This quantity will easily fit into a small bag. If you have extra room in your pack, you could grab a few extras. Maybe something great for night time, like a pair or Lunapanties or overnights from The Pink Lemonade Shop.
9. Washing is easy.
We’ve already established that disposables suck for a zombie apocalypse — and for life in general… details, details. Unlike disposables, you can wash them. You’ll be laughing at your friends (if you still have any) as they try to wash out disposable products. It’ll be a gross, unsanitary mess… and likely very unsuccessful.
Washing a cup is simple. A bit of gentle soap (like Dr. Bronners, if you’re lucky) will do the trick. While sanitation may not be a breeze during these tough times, it’s totally doable. Throw a kettle on the fire and boil your cup at the end of your cycle. Use boiled, or otherwise clean water to rinse your cup as needed during your period.
Pads are just as easy to wash. If you had a machine, you could just throw them in with your regular laundry, but a warm kettle of water will do nicely. Add a drop of soap, swish, rinse, & dry. All done!
10. Saves you money.
Oh well, I guess this isn’t important in a zombie apocalypse, but you know… just in case you’re not stealing everything and currency is still a thing.
11. Bonus! It’s a cup.
No seriously, it can be used as a cup. When not in use for your menstrual cycle, you could totally use a sanitized cup as a way to grab a fresh drink. Too far? Yea, I thought so too. Well, at least cloth pads might have a legitimate use as a bandage… right?
There you have it! A reusable product might just save your ass in a zombie apocalypse. Anything you’d add? Have you tried a cup or made the switch to cloth pads, I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Be sure to enter the Vagangelist Week giveaway co-hosted with my partner in crime, Kim from Dirty Diaper Laundry (and sponsored by Diva Cup, Lunapads, Lunette, GladRags, & Pink Lemonade Shop!)
You can find more information about cups via the Safe Feminine Care Resource Guide.
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